7 Matters to Discuss Before Marriage

7 Matters to Discuss Before Marriage

Are you engaged or thinking of getting married? That’s wonderful! Effective communication and sharing are crucial in relationships. Discuss these pivotal subjects to acquaint, inform and increase understanding between you and your partner. Doing so can help avoid the typical “rocky” start so many newlyweds face.

wedding party at church

  1. Your financial history. How you manage your money is important to share with your partner.
    • Talk about your credit history, including whether you’ve ever been unable to pay your bills, if you make it a point to pay bills on time, and the extent of your debt.
    • Also, you’ll want to know if your partner is a “saver” or a “spender.”
    • Even if some of your money management history isn’t optimal, this is a topic to be fully open about when you’re about to solidify your relationship.
  2. Thoughts about religion. How important is your faith? What religious traditions do you follow? Do you and your partner need to make some changes to incorporate your spiritual aspects into your relationship?
  3. Ideas about having children and parenting. You might feel like your relationship is a long way from reaching a point where you need to discuss having kids. But if you’re thinking of marriage, this is a necessary talk to have first.
    • Some questions to answer include: whether you want to have kids in the future, the kind of discipline you want to practice, and how many kids you want.
    • Also, finding out your mate’s desires in these areas will also serve to make your life path together smoother.
    • Parenting ideas and beliefs are often emotionally loaded topics and should surely be explored together prior to marriage, especially if one or both of you already have children.
    • If this is a point of contention between you, then come to an agreeable solution or move your separate ways. Don’t expect to change someone’s mind or sweep this issue under the carpet!
  4. Your career goals. Have you considered how your career goals will be impacted by your relationship? Your work life and career aspirations are especially important because they stand to be drastically affected by your decision to marry or reside with your partner.
    • Inform your partner how much you aspire to career-wise. This is something they deserve to be aware of as your career pursuits can alter both of your lives.
  5. Favorite ways to spend “down time.” How you prefer to spend your spare time is integral to your relationship. After all, if you love to read and your partner is an avid sports fan and prefers to socialize with others, some disagreements could result.
    • Being aware of these preferences will go a long way toward a less bumpy road ahead for the two of you. Can you imagine not knowing your cherished partner loves to play drums in his spare time and finding that out after you marry?
  6. Other life aspirations. When talking with your partner, consider all of your life goals.
    • Traveling to Italy, attending a sign language class, doing volunteer work, or even taking in foster children might be on the list.
    • When you consider these examples, it’s easy to recognize why you and your partner can benefit by discussing goals in advance of marriage.
  7. Discuss any other subjects you or your partner wants to know about. The purpose of this is to clear up anything else that’s nagging at you regarding your own life or your partner’s. This will help to address any doubts or questions either of you might have.
    • Doings so allows the both of you to start your precious time together with a clean slate.

Speaking openly and honestly about these topics before marriage will improve your communication and your mutual understanding. Most importantly, ensure you bring up any subjects you believe are important. Your partner will thank you for doing so!

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Penngrove, CA 94951
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